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Juice WRLD’s mother, Carmela Wallace, has shared a moving letter to her son on what would have marked his 23rd birthday.

“When you were born 23 years ago, I never expected that you would not to be here today celebrating your birthday,” Carmela’s letter reads. “Although it has been nearly two years since you’ve been gone, I still think about you every day and losing you has changed my life forever.  I’m glad that we always made sure that we said goodbye when we left each other because we didn’t know when we would see each other again.”

The celebrated “Lucid Dreams” artist died of an accidental overdose in December 2019. Fighting Demons, the second posthumous Juice album, is expected on Dec. 10. On the same day as the release of the new album’s single “Already Dead” last month, the Tommy Oliver-directed documentary Juice WRLD: Into the Abyss premiered at AFI Fest.

In her letter on Wednesday, Carmela—who previously founded the Live Free 999 foundation in her Juice’s honor—looked back on a birthday memory surrounding her trying to surprise her son with a white MP3 player when he was nine years old. As Carmela explained, Juice found the gift early.

“You and I would have reminisced about previous birthdays and I’m sure we would have laughed once again about the mp3 player,” she said. “I would have tried to get as many birthday wishes in as possible like I always did on your birthday when we were together.”

Elsewhere in Wednesday’s birthday letter, Carmela noted the continued impact of her son’s art and how fans still regularly reach out to her about how his music helped them move through periods of depression and anxiety.

“I promise to continue your message of healing and use Live Free 999 as an avenue to normalize the conversation around mental health and substance dependency and help those who suffer in silence,” she said.

Image via Publicist

Read the full letter below. The photo above, captured on Oct. 17 of 2019, is the last photo taken of Carmela and Juice together.

“Dear Jarad,


When you were born 23 years ago, I never expected that you would not to be here today celebrating your birthday.   Although it has been nearly two years since you’ve been gone, I still think about you every day and losing you has changed my life forever.  I’m glad that we always made sure that we said goodbye when we left each other because we didn’t know when we would see each other again.


If you were here, I am sure that I would have said something like how it seemed like just yesterday that you were born. I know that I would have told you how proud I was of the man you became and your commitment to changing lives.  I miss celebrating your birthday and all the good times that we shared. I have so many wonderful memories of you that will live in my heart forever.


I remember when you found your birthday gift the year that you turned nine.  It was a white mp3 player that I hid in my closet.   When you found it, you were too excited to hide the fact that you found it and proceeded to share with me how much you wanted a white mp3 player for your birthday.  I thought about taking it back to the store and surprising you with something else, but I decided to give it to you anyway.  As time passed and we talked about it, you realized that you would rather wait for the surprise than find your gifts early.


You and I would have reminisced about previous birthdays and I’m sure we would have laughed once again about the mp3 player.  I would have tried to get as many birthday wishes in as possible like I always did on your birthday when we were together.  


You touched the world through your music with honesty and transparency.  You shared a message of healing and sincerely desired to make a difference in the lives of others. I still receive messages from fans saying how your music helped them with anxiety and depression.  I promise to continue your message of healing and use Live Free 999 as an avenue to normalize the conversation around mental health and substance dependency and help those who suffer in silence.


Happy 23rd Birthday Jarad, I love you dearly.  I’m thankful for the time that we had and will forever cherish every moment that we shared.


Love,


Mom”

In a joint statement shared alongside a Fighting Demons trailer last month, Carmela and Grade A (Lil Bibby’s label) explained that the new album is intended to further commemorate the artist’s 23rd birthday. 

“We encourage all of you who struggle with addiction and mental illness to never give up the fight,” the joint statement, which also directed fans to the Live Free 999 site, read.



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