Desus and Mero Hit the Studio With John Legend to Write a Song About Analingus

We are now closing out week 3 of Desus Nice and The Kid Mero’s predictably great new Showtime series. For this particularly stacked episode, Desus and Mero chopped it up with Vince Staples about the improbability of Chance the Rapper getting robbed and hit the studio with John Legend for some songwriting intel.

“When you make, like, ‘I’m grown, I’ll shoot people’ music, say you do that and you get robbed or beat up, say you get stripped on camera,” Staples, always a must-watch interviewee on any show, said in the clip below. “Like, that’s crazy to me because you was supposed to shoot [that person]. But if you were walking around like Chance the Rapper and being like a good guy, ain’t nobody gonna rob Chance.”

From there, Staples joked about the similarly improbable idea of, say, a Will Smith kidnapping. “It’s like kidnapping Will Smith,” he explained. “N***** gon’ kill you. If your homies found out you kidnapped Will Smith, they gon’ beat your ass, bro. Because why are you gonna do that to us? We fuck with the genie. Everybody fucks with Will Smith.”

Speaking with Legend, Desus and Mero praised the “Preach” crafter for his Twitter humor, to which Legend objected by assessing himself as solely “funny adjacent.” Legend and the Bodega Boys also discussed The Voice, Chrissy Teigen, the art of EGOTing, and an upcoming Legend x Rick Ross collab.

The largest chunk of the Legend portions of this week’s episode, however, were spent getting a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the three carefully composing a song about the “full immersion” of eating ass. The tentative title for the final results of these riveting sessions is the undeniably catchy “Chocolate Galaxy,” i.e. “the only place that I wanna be.”

Additionally, this happened:

Legend later joked that he had “committed career suicide” with this appearance.