Fauci Says He Went to North Pole to Vaccinate Santa: ‘He Is Good to Go’
Written by SOURCE on December 21, 2020
Fret not. Santa Claus has received a COVID-19 vaccine.
The impact of the pandemic on Santa’s annual excursion was one of the topics broached during a Sesame Street town hall over the weekend. A few of Elmo’s friends posed inquiries to Dr. Anthony Fauci about Santa’s ability to make house calls this year, prompting him to confirm that all was well in the North Pole despite the unusually bleak circumstances for everyday people.
“Well, I have to say I took care of that for you because I was worried that you’d all be upset,” Dr. Fauci said. “So what I did a little while ago, I took a trip up there to the North Pole. I went there and I vaccinated Santa Claus myself. I measured his level of immunity and he is good to go. He can come down the chimney, he can leave the presents, and he can leave. And you have nothing to worry about. Santa Claus is good to go.”
Back in November, Fauci told USA Today that Mr. Claus possessed “a lot of good innate immunity.” Naturally, this announcement resulted in thousands of people uniting behind the common goal of scheming to kidnap Mr. Claus.
In related news, don’t be one of those people that ignores the severity of the moment and chooses to go about business as usual by way of massive holiday gatherings. That is, in a word, stupid. Also, carrying on in such a way shows an astronomical level of selfishness that’s certainly not a fit for the holiday season.
Last week, Fauci urged everyone to continue staying home as much as possible while also confirming that he will not be seeing his own children during the 2020 holiday season due to obvious safety concerns.
