GRIP Almost Gave Up on Rap, Then Eminem Called

Another one that jumped out at me is “Glenwood Freestyle!” You’re rapping on that one, but it doesn’t sound like your typical flow and delivery.

Glenwood is a street in Decatur, Georgia, outside of Atlanta type shit. You ever heard of Freaknik?

Yeah.

So, it’s like that but for the neighborhood. It’s a neighborhood day so on Glenwood Day, people would ride back and forth in their old school cars. It’s cookouts, it’s people walking up and down the street, and when we was in high school we were doing that. At that point in time we were listening to Gucci Mane, we bumping whatever.

So, to me, “Glenwood Freestyle!” is kind of an ode to Glenwood and the state of mind I was in back in the day when we were doing that. When we was riding our old schools and trying to pick up chicks. This is the music that I grew up on. I don’t want to be boxed in, like I’m just rap-itty rap, rap-itty rap every goddamn time.

I didn’t have to write it, it came pretty easy. The beat was hard as hell, and that’s one of the songs that has the exclamation point in the title. These were the times when I was excited about this shit. I was excited and very green to the whole shit. I was just thinking, “Yeah man, we got to do this, we got to do that, we got to have this.” Back then I was thinking that’s what it was all about or that was going to fulfill certain voids. Only to see, with the question marks on other songs, that it’s not.

At this point, do you have a favorite song, or a song that is especially important to you?

Yeah, “ConMan?” is my favorite song. And that’s just about loved ones. It’s a relationship that pretty much failed because I felt like when I was committed to a person, I wasn’t 100% committed to music.

It’s about sabotaging a relationship in order to dive all the way into music. It’s a little selfish. I’m not blaming the person, but I’m blaming my situation on how much attention I paid to a person or when I probably should have been giving it to the music. I probably could have been in a different position. So it’s some selfishness to it but it’s real and it’s heartfelt and it’s an apology. That’s probably one of my favorite tracks on there.

Are you nervous about the person you wrote it about hearing it?

No, no, no, no, no. You can’t do that. You can’t worry about that type of shit when you’re making music. It’s just like, fuck it. You were the muse and I keep that shit a 100, keep it funky with them.

Any other songs you want to talk about? “Hands Up!” is another one I really liked on first listen.

“Hands Up!” is cool. That one has the exclamation point, and it’s pretty much just saying that hip-hop is in a fucked up place. I don’t necessarily believe that 100%. I think hip-hop is in a good place, but it’s more so that chip on your shoulder that we spoke about. It’s me saying, “Hey, man, motherfuckers ain’t as good as me.” I watched some people come and go, but I played the long game, knowing that in the end I’d be bigger. This one is for all the times that I envisioned rocking the crowd, feeling like you’re on top of the world.

There’s the title track, “I Died For This!?” That’s more so on that I died for this, ain’t nobody fixing to take this shit. Then there’s the song with Royce [da 5’9], “Placebo,” which is really just a lyrical exercise and it has Royce speaking on some real topics. Just about how motherfuckers is serving y’all a placebo, they ain’t really healing y’all with this shit. It’s all just quick-serve shit.

On that song, I’m speaking on how this shit really works, being a Black artist. I’m still Black at the end of the day. I say “dark is a defect”—even if I get a lot of respect as an artist, if they were to see me in the streets, they would still clutch their purse.

I think Royce’s verse was more about the music industry. He went fucking crazy. He talks about how they just playing musical chairs with these acts. Give them a check, but they got to be complicit. We did three beat switches on there, and that’s one of my favorite tracks as well. 

Are you close with Royce?

Royce was the first person that I spoke to from the Shady camp. We got a good relationship, we talk on FaceTime all the time. It was dope to get him on the album because I feel like Royce is definitely one of the top MCs that we’ve ever had. 

Oh, then I have to talk about “Just Don’t Die This Time!?”—it’s like an interlude, just a rock medley or whatever the fuck it is. That’s one of the most important songs because it serves as a segue between the first act of the album and the second act. With that song I say, “While the light is lime / Enjoy your prime / And just don’t die this time.”

I was speaking on all of our heroes in music from the past who have came and went, whether they overdosed or were murdered. The 2Pacs, the Kurt Cobains. You just never know how long that shit going to last. So, it’s like, “Take a pic, crack a smile, you owe it to the world.” You’re up on a pedestal. Oh, and just don’t die this time, because they did. Like alright, the last motherfucker didn’t quite make it.

The album is dealing a lot with the words “die” and “death,” and that song is like a descent into chaos. It’s what I could imagine being a prisoner of fame would fucking sound like. But yeah, I’m just excited for people to dive into it and decipher it or figure out exactly what it means to them. It’s open to interpretation.

Now that you’ve got label support, does that change anything with how you make music? Have you felt like you’ve been held back at all because of lack of resources or real studios? It sounds like you were already expanding with the strings and instruments on this album.

Yeah, that was just me naturally progressing. Now the speed limit is not 35, I can actually go up to 55, I can do whatever. Most of this shit was made before [the Shady Records deal] so I’m excited to see where it goes with bigger budgets and more connections.

We’ve done this shit with minimal resources. The fact that we’ve been able to make Snubnose, and Porch, and I Died For This!?—I’m making some of these shits in the motherfucking house, you know what I’m saying? I’m recording some of these verses in the house, with people who I’ve known. Of course we had the Em feature and the Royce feature, but other than that we did all that shit and came to Em with the project pretty much done already.

“Finally having that anticipation and that love, that hate, all of that sh*t, it fuels you. You’d rather have that than to have nothing. Without that, you start second-guessing yourself, like, ‘Damn, am I as dope as I thought I was?’”

Going into the next shit and finally having that anticipation and that love, that hate, all of that shit, it fuels you. You’d rather have that than to have nothing, you know what I’m saying? Without that, you start second-guessing yourself, like, “Damn, am I as dope as I thought I was?”

So the fact that I’m getting that now, and I’m just now getting it, that lights a fire. That shit is going to take me to that next level because I’m just now getting started.

During our last interview, you were still so hungry and you wanted so much more. Now a lot of people are looking at you like you landed this amazing situation, but you’re still reaching for more. When do you think you’ll be content? If we talk again in five years and you’re selling out stadiums, you think you’ll be happy or will you still be like, “What’s next?”

A little bit of both. That’s life. Life is what’s next. Of course you’ll be happy with your accolades and all that you’ve been able to accomplish but you don’t want to ever just make an end-goal because once you get there, you’re just like, “Oh shit, I thought that I was going to feel a certain way.” If you don’t feel that, then you’re left scrambling.

So it’s always going to be what’s next. But of course, if in five years I’m like, “Yo bro, pull up to Madison Square Garden, come on,” then of course I’d be excited. I’d feel like I would have accomplished what I set out to do in music, which is just do this shit on the highest level. A Grammy would do the same thing, you know what I’m saying? Doing this shit on the highest level and being acknowledged for it. Because at the end of the day we do this shit for ourselves, we do this shit for the people, but we also want to be recognized.

I think this is just the start, really. All of this shit, it was all just paving the path. It was part of the journey. Everything ain’t going to always work out how you planned it to or how you wanted it to. I’ve had those lessons in life, so I was able to bounce back and realize that I had to check myself. I was bugging at certain points. But I’m ready for all that comes with the shit. I died for this, you know what I’m saying? I went hard, and that’s what it is—I died for this. So, yeah, I’m ready for it.